ok so this week has been a little different. In a way i feel like I’m not a missionary. I’m just a friend helping all these people out. Lorenzo is 19 years old and he looks so much older like 26 ish and he has a little girl Sadie who is just the cutest. Lorenzo’s mom is less active and we are starting to teach both of them. We had an amazing lesson with Lorenzo the other day. He actually teared up. He has had a rough past and it’s just really sad because he didn’t know really how he could get past it all. He has had missionaries before and almost got baptized. I think he was converted to the missionary and not the gospel. so that’s really sad. We talked to him about what the atonement is. How Christ suffered in the garden of gethsemane and died on the cross for us and that in the garden of gethsemane he felt all that we have to go through pain, suffering, and sin. He felt it all. He is the only person on earth that knows what we go through every day. We are never alone in our suffering because Christ suffered it all for us so that we can use the atonement. We told him stories about our past because he felt like we were perfect like we have never felt pain. Then he opened up to us after that and told us he has dreams about his past and he can’t forget it. he can’t forgive of forget and so we talked about what a priesthood blessing is and what it can do. so it was silent for a really long time he was looking at the floor then he asked if he could get a blessing. so tonight the bishop is going to give him one. it makes me so sad that i might be getting transferred because me and sister Harris work so well with each other and he has never opened up to any missionaries like this before. I cry when I think about transfers and I hate when people bring it up. I hate how missionaries are so focused on numbers and other silly things. and not on the people that need our help. Now i know why I’m here and i pray every day to stay because he needs me and Sister Harris. i know one day he is going to be baptized. i don’t have to be the missionary that asks him or is there for it. i just want to get him to the point that he knows without a doubt that this gospel is true and that this is Christ’s church. That it has been restored. i want to help him get to the temple so he can be sealed to his little girl. I want him to find a wife that will marry him in the temple that will help him grow. He is an amazing guy and he thinks he’s worthless. He dropped out of school and is scared to go back. I told him I dropped out and got my GED and it was hard but I did it. That helped him have hope, that he can be someone. i love my mission. If he is the only person i help my whole mission it will be worth it..
We did service for this lady Sandra. She is going through a big divorce and she is raising this teen on her own. Brother Finch from the 6th ward gave us her as a referral and she trusts us. She reminds me of my sister Jessica. it made me happy. i told her that and she told me that makes her feel good. It’s Like we are family in a way. She has this secret garden and we are helping her finish it.
We also have an investigator her name is little bit and she is getting rid of a bunch of fire wood so we are giving it all to Sandra. I’m getting so close to all these amazing people Linda is getting baptized this Saturday on the 31 and I’m just so happy for her. I can’t leave these people. It’s going to be so hard we find out Saturday if I stay or go. I know that God is part of this work and the president will send me where i need to be. He is called of God and i know he is my president and i sustain him. So many amazing things are happening right now. i just want you to know I’ve never been so happy in my whole life. i got to the point on Tuesday during Lorenzo’s lesson that im not here to tell him this is what you need to know and then let him figure it out on his own. im here to help him got to the point to really knows that this gospel is true. i taught a lesson for the first time on Tuesday without being scared i was going to mess up or scared that what i said was wrong. i had confidence. i know that what i said was from my heart and was true. it was like i was talking to family and that’s what we need to strive for as missionaries. i can’t say ill always have that much confidence but that day i did and so far i have. I’m so happy and i want you all to know that’s what a mission is all about. It is to help people grow and it’s to help you to grow. Don’t just go on a mission and count down the days. We are here to help people and if im wrong well then that’s what ever. That’s why im here and that’s all that matters to me. Well today is going to be fun we are going on a hike with the YSA and then we are going to a BBQ. Woot! love you all
Love Sister Steen